FAMILY (2)
Session 20
Read Ephesians 6:1-4
Intro. “Children today are tyrants. They
contradict their parents, gobble their food and tyrannise their teachers”. Who said that?
‘Teenager’ is a word invented in
the 1940s, mainly as a marketing ploy. Today we have the ‘Tweenies’ as well
(age 8-13) another clever marketing ploy.
The pressures on teens
> Physical & emotional
changes > peer pressure > media bombardment > fears > parents
The pressures on parents
Ø Ageing -
Facing up to the wrinkles and the spare tyres! Mid-life crisis – changes in our body. Maybe slightly envious or even jealous of our
offspring.
Ø
Ø Stress factors - Our own health - physical and emotional,
financial demands, so much responsibility
- ageing parents of our own etc
Ø Marriage relationship - too busy and too tired for romance and
sex, boring and humdrum after all these
years. Tensions between partners, disagreements
that can no longer be hidden from the children
Ø Insecurity - We
are being re-evaluated by our children.
How do we cope with intimidation and criticism? The feeling of loss of control and
undermining of parental authority. Fear
of failure
Ø Peer pressure - Our
friends and family, people at church.
Maintaining the status quo. We look good if the children succeed
Ø Resistant to change - “I know best, I’m your parent” How do you let go? It’s always been this way.
2 questions: for teens – what things would you most like
to change in the way your parents treat you? for
parents – what things would you most like to change in the way your young
people behave?
What are the guidelines?
Teens are changing. Parents must change – they must
realise that young people are adults with L-plates and forming their own
identity, whilst they are losing the control they once had and are having their
values & beliefs challenged.
Grace & forgiveness are needed
above all. As are fathers who:
Ø make time
Ø take responsibility
Ø follow through on discipline
And mothers who:
Ø reason rather than nag
Ø think the best rather than speak
the worst
And young people who:
Ø value their parents
Ø respect them as people
Ø communicate
In summary, for parents:
Ø being there
Ø being real
Ø communicating openly
M.o.T. check-points
Parents
& other adults:
67 Do you try to understand how a
young person must feel today?
68 Can you be realistic about those
problems that you have which affect your parenting?
69 How can you set a Godly example to
young people? How could you be a ‘mother
or father in the faith’?
Young people:
70 How does your attitude &
behaviour need to change to come into line with God’s word?